Entry No. 4 Jeny Gangan


Me and my Diary Contest!

In celebration of ”My Serendipitous Day”

1.Describe your diary
A BLAST FROM THE PAST

I made my very first diary when I was in grade three. But after my ‘wicked older sisters,’ (they can be like that sometimes!) have stolen and feasted on its entire content, and teased me profusely about my first crush; I BURNED THE SECRET BOOK. After almost eight years, during one of my volunteer activities in college, another sinister event occurred. I accidentally left my new journal in an office. My superior’s office; a perfect place indeed! I had blossoming-feelings with him- my very first love! And the content of that bloody @&*#@%@ diary is almost entirely about my unrequited love! Plus, (yes, to magnify my stupidity, you may continue reading) there were pictures of ‘him’ inserted in that notebook! Heavens to Betsy! I never saw that diary again; and will forever deny that it’s mine. So here I am, the BRAVE ONE, still writing my thoughts=)

I’M A SURVIVOR
That would be the theme song of my surviving, current diary. It’s a simple store-bought, thick, hardbound notebook, which I have wrapped with a girly cover. In its interior, just opposite the cover, I glued a small calendar dated 2006, the year it was bought. Though already worn out for it has been with me for five years now, there are still spare pages where I can write on.
It has four partitions intended for: (1) my volunteer work (2) my pencil sketches (3) recipes, verses, quotes, jokes etc (4) my scribbles: poems and journal entry.
Inside is a collage of emotions, chronicled in different angles and ages. Frankly, it’s a little bit messy. It has fragment of my experiences, dreams, frustrations, imaginations, and all in between; me as a child, daughter, sister, student, lady, friend, dreamer, writer, lover, everything that’s me; almost capturing my very soul.

2. What is your ideal design for your diary?
I don’t really fancy ‘bells and whistles’ and complicated things. So for an ideal design of a diary, these are my essentials: (1)should be medium sized and light-weight (2) lots of pages to write on; would prefer paper with lines for notes, and some blank ones for sketches (3) a pen/pencil holder on the side, ready whenever a billion- dollar- idea strikes (4) having at least three partitions (5) calendar (6) post-it or any sticker; just to accessorize and highlight important information, (7) some pockets to insert memorable items like a photo, letter or leaf, and lastly (8) should have a protective cover.

3. How does your diary help you?
I’m much of a bookworm than a writer, actually. Whenever I read inspiring, moving, hilarious, or anything that extremely capture my attention, I write it down. Then with these found jewels, I get inspired to create striking one-liners, poems, and phrases. My diary is my stockroom, my treasure chest! I draw ideas and surprises from it. You have no idea how much it saved and helped me in creating articles I never thought I could possibly make! And in my relationships; whenever a friend needs inspiration, loving words, or even just a good laugh to survive a day; miraculously, there’s always something up my diary’s sleeves!

It’s my personal art gallery. I love pencil sketches. I do it for fun, to buy time, to release stress, and to capture moments. I also use it to communicate. After every drawing, I would let my mom or my sisters see it. They would either laugh hysterically, or compliment my magnum opus; but most of the time they cackle, LOL. Just making my mom laugh is already a surreal achievement for me. She cries when she’s too happy=)

It’s my instant time machine. Whenever I need a hearty laugh, I would just marvel my sketches, really! When I miss my dear frisky nephew, I would just reread the poem I wrote for him, edit it, reread, and edit it again. Here, I can relive the memories of a lost love; his text messages that I have written verbatim, the moment I saw him again, our last encounter, my poem for him in his deathbed. Some memories are heartbreaking, some triumphant, I get to relive them all.

It’s my mirror, a friend. I became a stay-in volunteer worker in a religious nonprofit organization for almost four to five years. Though this vocation is very gratifying to the soul and I get to meet lots of wonderful people; I missed my family terribly. Thank God I had an outlet- writing. It was so hard to be away from your family, physically and mentally, specially when you’re sick. I really can’t imagine how I was able to survive those years!

Years passed,I was able to go home and became a tutor, and still continued on volunteering. Severe depression took its toll on me- when I was battling Pneumonia, when our family almost collapsed, and recently, another blow: death of a very close friend. These maelstroms almost knocked me down; I became detached to my friends. With lots of prayers, I just poured my heart out into writing and sketching, and busying myself with work. I had to be strong for my family; I needed to stay positive. With God’s grace, I still have my mom and my sisters, now I’m a Pneumonia survivor and surrounded by genuine people who never left my side. Whenever I write, I get to know myself deeper. It calms my soul. I get to love, console, make peace and help myself grow. It’s basically talking to the INNER MAN as the Bible would explain it. Science even favors this discipline. Scientists have found out that talking to yourself is actually good for you. Dr. Glenn Williams, lead researcher of Nottingham Trent University, likens talking to oneself to keeping a diary, a positive way of reflecting on one’s life (Reader’s Digest, November 2008, page 140). Keeping a diary is never a waste of time; it’s an opportunity to see before your very eyes chronicles of your life’s journey. And you get to love more the people who truly know your story: the ones who helped you write it.

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7 thoughts on “Entry No. 4 Jeny Gangan

  1. Hey jen…didn't know you're joining this, thanks for sharing the link.Good luck gurl! So emotional naman, nakaka-relate ako. Miss you, bisita ka naman sa local~~~MOMO

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  2. This is meeeh mare! Agnes. Nagulat naman ako sa biglang pag share ng link and demanding:) Eto na tinignan ko na at nilasap ang iyong talambuhay hehehehee. Good luck nalang my ever dearest friend….love you

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